


Solace In Solitude

by thalassatides



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Persona 5 Spoilers, Persona 5: The Animation, Persona 5: The Royal, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 15:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thalassatides/pseuds/thalassatides
Summary: Solitude isn't always a bad thing — it is both destructive and formative.For Shiho Suzui, solitude was the solace that she might never wind up like her peers, whose insults were no different from weapons of mass destruction.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Suzui Shiho, Kurusu Akira & Suzui Shiho, Persona 5 Protagonist & Suzui Shiho, Suzui Shiho & Takamaki Ann
Kudos: 11





	Solace In Solitude

**Author's Note:**

> **  
>  _TW: Implied/reference emotional, physical, psychological abuse, implied/referenced sexual harassment. Proceed with caution._   
>  **

Home never was a battlefield, but that didn't reduce its weight. Words unsaid left Shiho to bear their burdens.

She was a good daughter. She was an adult long before she was supposed to be. A child long after she should have been, she cried on her first day of school, too aware of the anxieties of her peers. Their confusion rolled off of them in waves, and when she tried to explain, she didn't yet know the words.

No amount of words could describe feelings like that. Words diminished them. The fear of falling, of failing, of being alone — those were pains she knew long before she knew the words for them.

None of those fears stopped her.

For every fall, she was a helping hand. For every tear, she was a shoulder (and most often a handkerchief). For every hungry stomach, she shared her bento, and the satisfied grins were always worth it in the end. She couldn't let those feelings — those of her friends — boil up like tea in a kettle.

Even when her name went unsaid, forgotten, or discarded, she paid that resentment no heed.

As long as they were tended to, that’s all that mattered to Shiho Suzui. 

* * *

Ann Takamaki was loneliness personified.

Her blonde tresses and azure blues were a rarity in Japan, but Shiho didn’t see that; all she saw was a girl new to their traditions, uncertain of what to do. Their peers were far from sympathetic and they did nothing but contribute to their longstanding differences.

It wasn’t as though she asked to be born that way.

The hushed words merely strengthened her resolve. Insults were weapons of mass destruction: they were only good for hurting. She couldn’t just stand by and watch Takamaki sink deeper into solitude.

Shiho knew, without a doubt, how that felt like.

She slid past her classmates towards the blonde-haired girl sitting pretty in the corner. Each whispered became louder with each step she took until all she heard was a cacophony of whispers. Despite her confidence, Shiho was shaking on the inside: what if Takamaki rejected her attempts? That would be truly embarrassing.

She peered over Ann Takamaki’s shoulder. The girl remained oblivious, eyes transfixed on her canvas.

“Takamaki, your painting sucks,” Shiho pointed out.

Silence instantly washed over the class, like someone dropped a bomb on them. All eyes were on them, burning into her skin.

Takamaki flinched and scooted to the side, giving Shiho some room to study her not-quite-masterpiece. Everyone’s eyes were on them, watching and waiting to see what would unfurl.

“Was that necessary?” she asked, apprehensive.

She nodded. “Of course. Someone had to tell you about it.”

She watched, with bated breath, as a myriad of emotions flickered across Takamaki’s face — surprise, confusion, curiosity.

And for the first time in weeks, Ann Takamaki smiled.

* * *

In the days that followed, everything was like a buzz.

The whispers were louder, harsher, meaner. Insults were tossed around relentlessly and the people Shiho once called her friends drifted, unable to fathom why she’d hang around with someone new.

It reminded of Shiho of why she kept her distance from everyone else. The notion of being part of the gossip (the problem) repelled her. The only person who understood it, who accepted that this was part and parcel of life, was Ann, but Shiho was an advocate for the greater good.

From the moment Ann became her friend, Shiho knew she’d do anything to protect her.

Whenever anybody tried to rain on Ann’s parade, she’d storm right back. Sometimes, it was innocuous questions. Other times, she outright told them that it wasn’t nice at all, that their efforts could’ve been used to know her better.

Solitude was no stranger to Shiho Suzui.

At least she had Ann this time.

* * *

Sticks and stones could break her bones, but nothing hurt more than feeling the fear apprehension running rampant throughout the student body. The corridor was abuzz with harsh whispers, of words Shiho knew to be untrue.

That sort of thing happened to Ann frequently enough that she needed more than her fingers and toes to count.

It came as no surprise when people began their gossip about the criminal transfer student.

“That’s worrying,” Shiho muttered.

“What is?”

“All these rumours about the transfer student,” she muttered. “Amamiya, right?”

“Yeah, he came in late with on the first day,” Ann supplied. “With Sakamoto.”

She frowned, recalling her encounter with the bespectacled boy in the hallway. He helped her pick up the papers without a second thought, without hesitation. She studied him as he strode away, and a million thoughts filled her head in a singular moment.

“Shiho? Are you okay?”

“He’s not a bad person,” Shiho said, with certainty.

Ann was apprehensive. “Can’t be too sure about that. Those two hang out together so…”

A part of Shiho wanted to remind her of her own experience, but nothing good came out of reminding people of their flaws.

She, too, didn’t like to be reminded about hers.

However, there were some things that needed to be said.

“People say mean things about us all the time,” Shiho reminded Ann.

Guilt flashed in Ann’s eyes, but it faded to relief. They were each other’s guiding lights and, Shiho knew, to betray their bond would be a betrayal to herself. Relief flooded Ann’s eyes and chased away the shadows that lingered within her azure hues.

“Oh. My. God. We’re badasses!” Ann realised.

Shiho dissolved into giggles.

* * *

The moments Shiho needed were moments she wasn’t granted.

Training was hellish. Her muscles burned, and as Coach Kamoshida yelled at them to get to work, she thought of the friend she was protecting. Ann carried a troubled expression as of late, and while Shiho was not fond of rumours, she couldn’t help but wonder whether there was truth to their words…

But she knew her best friend, and Ann wasn’t that sort of person. She was untouchable, unreachable by the standard definition; she never allowed anyone to get close, not when she shared a similar disdain for such atrocities.

“Suzui,” Coach Kamoshida’s voice boomed. “Keep up. If not, I’m taking you off the team.”

“Yes, Coach,” she answered meekly, and joined her teammates in running laps around the gym’s perimeter. Most of them remained quiet, afraid of their coach’s wrath. Some of the girls offered quiet reassurances, but were drowned out by Coach Kamoshida’s demands to hasten their pace.

Shiho winced with each spike she delivered, with each leap she took. What used to be easy now took immense effort, and there was no doubt they’d all be sporting more bruises over their already bloomed ones. Her knee ached, and she tried her best to ignore it, in favour of making sure that everyone else got through today.

Coach Kamoshida didn’t make it any better with his demeaning remarks.

It wasn’t until after practice that the man approached her, a sickly smile on his face. A quick glance around the room told her that everyone already left, leaving her to deal with the consequences of being their star player.

“You did well today, Suzui,” he praised. “Looks like you’ll get to keep your spot after all.”

She shuddered, frightened, when he brought a hand down on her shoulder.

“Takamaki would be very proud of you for how far you’ve come,” he crooned.

Shiho hated that he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> This is done for P5 Girls Week, Day 1. The prompt that I chose for this was "Insults", but there's a mix of other prompts as well. 
> 
> It's also a character study for my best girl, Shiho Suzui, so I hope I did justice to her characterisation.


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